Grandmothers are the best! They call out faults and encourage dreams. They give advice and are wise, sincere, and trill. No, no that can’t be right? But oh it is! Say hello to @trealGRANNY, the Internets lil old lady who considers Oscar Wilde to be her homeboy. We discuss her love for Madeline Poole, cognitive dissonance, stripper shoes, loyalty, music and more after the jump.

Name
Granny
 

Hometown
San Francisco


Age
Old as dirt.


Website
None for now.  


Most Known For 
Being the trealest granny.
 

Unknown For
Most things. I appreciate my privacy for a few reasons.


Sexiest thing ever done for you
Idk.. people don’t really do sexy things for me.


Top 5 vices 
Cigarettes (menthol), Whiskey (preferably Jameson).. I think that’s it.. or all I can comfortably admit to right now!


Currently on your playlist
Rick Ross, Fedde Le Grand, Future, Steve Aoki


'Trealest' adventure(s)
Hmm… I’ve had so many. I guess the most recent one was being able to attend Electric Daisy Carnival for the first time. I met a really treal group of kids from New Mexico who were more open and friendly than 90% of the people I encounter here in the city.


Least favorite trend(s)
Harem Pants. Hipsters. Trapsterz (hipster kids who think they ‘bout that life). I also dislike the trend where everyone makes their hair look like Cassie. 


Did you have kids who had kids?! Why do you call yourself Granny?
(Laughs!) No kids here. I don’t consider myself a protector of sorts, and also adopted the nickname to desexualize myself. When I first started going out as Granny, I had just gotten out of a pretty miserable relationship, and I wanted some kind of barrier to put between me and the guys I would meet. Calling myself Granny seemed to create enough cognitive dissonance that they left me a wide berth.


Are you my internet grandma?!
YES I AM!


I like your #treal words of the day but do you ever define them just so others know what they mean?
I don’t ever define them. I’m not sure why. I think in order to be truly treal you have to have a thirst for knowledge. The trealest people I know have never or rarely had things handed to them. You have to challenge yourself to seek knowledge, or you become a mouth-breathing cog in the machine.


You retweeted “Theres hella cool people on Twitter that I would like to meet in person. Most of them are @PATAFRIA’s friends. She knows all the cool kids.” And I will I feel the same scrolling through Lushy Lurkdat account. Have you noticed a Twitter tribe pattern where all the interesting girls and boys are connected?
I’m not sure that I’ve noticed a pattern, but I definitely think Twitter has managed to eliminate about 3-5 degrees of separation between its treal users!


What does Granny do IRL?!
For now I’d prefer not to say. But I do enjoy reading and exercising and crafts and watching “Law & Order SVU” marathons…


Do you collect stripper shoes? If you ever come to Chicago there is this bomb ass store in Wicker Park (I forget them name) that has amazing choices!
I don’t collect them, but I think I might start! I think they’re just so cool looking!


You get your nailsdid right? Who does em?
I do. My friend Vi does them. She has her own shop in San Francisco called Tootsie Toes located on Polk St and Washington. I call her my nail god. She’s capable of doing anything I ask for. Too treal.
 

Do you have any favorite nail artist(s)?
Madeline Poole is the only one who I follow pretty religiously, but I’m always checking the nails tag on ig for new ideas!


What do you want to be remembered for this year and in the future?
This year and forever I want to be remembered as the granny who was always approachable and who the trealGrandkids could trust to listen and give advice when asked. (Smiles!) I’m fiercely loyal and protective, and I hope people can see that.

@trealGRANNY