If you’re anything like me, you need privacy in the restroom. That is like my sanctuary inside of the home. No one is allowed in when occupied, and it better be clean. Anyway, this story isn’t about how clean you should keep your bathroom. It’s about when you have to use a toilet that’s not yours. It’s a guys. The guy you aren’t exactly with. The dude who still sees that butt as that ASS. The one who still makes fun of girl farts because of course, ladies don’t have gas. Gas is a myth. And taking a poop is unheard of….well more like the unaddressed.
As crafty ladies I say let’s keep up the charades. If you’re staying overnight, or for a weekend, hell even if you are in a relationship, why let him know what goes on in there?! Here is the only trick I know to help out if you really gotta go poo.
Ahead of time, turn the smallest room into a powder house. Fill it with fem products like perfumes, makeup and flatirons. He won’t suspect a thing. You’ve had too much Chipotle, the beans are really starting to set in, and the time has come for you to ummm…release. Don’t be ashamed. Excuse yourself with some bulls*** like ‘oh I have to freshen up!’. No harm, no further questions. Once you’re in it’s time to plug the irons then turn on the shower. Preferably a really warm, damn near steaming shower. I don’t know why, but heat from the irons and steam from the shower disguise scents and sounds! In the meantime, he’s completely clueless to what’s going on. And once you’re done you can literally keep your word and freshen up. Oh and look! All of your magic is right there in the bathroom to doll yourself up. But before you leave, make sure to spritz that b**** down! And come out looking like a star.
As much as I talk about boobs, I know in my heart of hearts that the ass is really where it’s at. I’m mean come on! No one can deny a glance at something so round and bouncy and perfect. There’s got to be a reason the lower-end gets paid and pleasure. I personally am a fan of my own little big booty becz it’s plump, but I can also appreciate a juicy patooty when I see one. Not to be mistaken with the church butts OR the type that’s one bowl of beans away from being a hot ass mushy mess. Yuck! I’m talking about the one’s that actually put in maintenance and represent for the derrieres across the globe.
After watching the ‘Watermelon Woman’ I took a good look in the mirror at my own body then started blogging my thoughts. Maybe I am ‘lucky that my breast are small and humble’. I’m petite but the little bit of fat I do have goes to my bottom half adding some proportion, Thank God! When I’m in the moment with a guy, it’s not the bee stings he’s reaching for. It’s my ass! And I like it that way. But I wasn’t always like this. It took some time (not a lot) to accept my shape as it is. So now I think it’s kind of sad when girls feel pressured to ‘improve’ to be appealing. This isn’t supposed to turn into some let’s hold hands and build our esteem piece. To be frank, unattractive b******* still do exist. But I do want girls to take away that confidence is key. If you can only afford to love your natural being, treat your body to a intrepid lifestyle. If you gotta rock the Booty Pop, own that shit! If you’re going under the knife, think long and hard about it. It’s not necessary but if you do it, do it for the love of yourself, not the acceptance of others (which hardly makes sense but I get what I’m saying). It’s a cold world out there where sex appeal is said to be everything. You were born in your body so you might as well treat it like treasure. Find your favorite asset(s) and take care of it. That’s all I had to say.
It’s spring but I haven’t felt like relaxing. I’ve just been up applying, applying, applying. Then waiting, waiting, waiting. Sometimes there’s a response. Most times it’s no word back. But in the meantime please do expect more Q&A’s. Those keep me focused and inspired! Oh, and I have literally stepped outside of my comfort zone in hopes of getting to where I want to be. It’s about that time to start making a list. Short-term and long-term, and see where it takes me. xx
By Isis Nicole
I have a serious problem. And it’s about guys. And I want to figure out why this whole thing even started so I can change it. Okay, so here it goes. Why is it that a guy can catch all of my attention when wearing a hat but when he takes it off my feelings change?! It’s like what’s underneath the beautiful halo is always some kind of lame ass haircut or head shape. I’m smitten for the beanies, the fitted’s, and the snappers. Fedora’s…umm not so much. And this is driving me crazy! First finger f*** fantasies thanks to mpc’s, then the necessity of humor, now this! When did I start caring so much about such useless material?! Hats! And even worse. Why is it so difficult to find a beautiful face, a beautiful hat, and a beautiful head? Don’t get me wrong. I do notice height, weight, scent and personality (not at all meant to be in a superficial order!) BUT wearing a good fit can alter everything. I would scratch one of the five dating prerequisites just because of a God dang hat. Yet, basing attraction off of head accessories is getting me nowhere. Take that back. It’s getting me somewhere, just what’s underneath is a bummer. Maybe this is how guys feel when rubbing their fingers thru what they thought was a non weave wearing head. Or maybe how girls feel when the “package” doesn’t nearly compare to its ummm….ego. I’ll tell you who is sexy regardless of headwear *cough cough* Diplo *cough cough*. Ugh, truth is, I’m getting more and more specific with my attractions and I really don’t mean to be such a b$#%!
This S/S 2012 has started off pretty good. I got asked to help with the project ‘Nailgasm’ and in doing so, got sent off to London for a week. This was quite an experience that I’ll never forget, especially having been honored to stay with Sophy Robson and meeting the Nail Porn family. It was my first time on a plane and first time out of the country. Chicago looks beyond beautiful high above the ground. On the ride I kept thinking about being over the ocean. And wishing planes could fly lower so I could possibly see a humpback whale.
By: Isis Nicole
It is the age old question: can women and men be just friends? While this is one question that has plagued people for generations, I’m going to settle all of the disputes. I’m just going to come right out and say it. Yes, it is possible for men and women to just be friends. Who am I to say that the thought is unimaginable or impossible? The fact that two people aren’t the same sex shouldn’t necessarily mean that they are incapable of having a platonic relationship.
With that said, the best way to maintain a healthy friendship that involves members of the opposite sex is to eliminate and/or conquer the physical attraction. Oftentimes, this is easier said than done, but if you can get around this tiny detail, it could possibly be smooth sailing from that moment until forever. Now, let’s break it down for a second. Getting past the physical can mean a lot of different things. However, it boils down to whether or not you’re going to act on “it” or not.
Back in the day, when there was absolutely no pressure that came along with being friends with the opposite sex, we found a way to make it work, right? That was the time when boys and girls were buddies and pals. So, why can’t the same be true in adulthood? Friendship does not have to mean romance. We have the choice to either allow a friendship to transition into something more or to uphold its genuine emotion.
In my case, I like the fact that my friendship with males aren’t romantic at all. My male friends are like brothers. They are there when I need advice and my partners in crime. Sure they may witness a heartbreak and may even try to mend it, but that’s as far as it goes.
In the words of Don O’Meara, Ph.D. at the University of Cincinnati-Raymond Walters College, “Platonic love does exist.” We just have to decide for ourselves what’s appropriate and what’s not.