once upon a time, a long long time ago… i met a boy. he sought me out, and i didn’t really understand why. he was so many things, all at once:
cute and neat and fucked up and manic and talented and kooky and weird and inspiring and manipulative and charismatic, and in the most technical sense, unavailable. i was drawn to him, even though i knew better. he made me happy and excited. he made my heart beat faster. he confused me, and made me feel as though he might be lying to me the majority of the time, mixed with the vibe that he was being more candid with me than anyone else is capable of. but i’ll make that description sound more romantic and upbeat by summing it up as: he intrigued me. i felt special around him. i saw me in him. and although we never had sex, there were nights where i thought about him inside me. but these were only occasional/passing fantasies in my mind’s eye, while i lay in the dark. but overall the connection was more emotional, and cerebral than anything else… but only because we couldn’t be physical. he was spoken for. but why did he seek me out? why was he doing this to me? was he a bipolar, ego maniacal, monster? or did he really just like me and this was a complicated situation? was i living in my own woody allen movie? how exciting! but why did this feel way less funny and glamorous and more like a constant power/ego struggle?
I can relate to this story by IMBOYCRAZY like no other. Sometimes I want to erase that experience, but I can’t becz I’m still mind-f***ing…—-isis nicole